I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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