Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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