she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
