I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
