Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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