oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
