She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
