I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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