That's intense
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
