Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just gargled with NyQuil
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
