Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
