I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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