i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
