I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
