Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
