Pants 0. Shit 1.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
