Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So much rum. So many feels.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
