well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
