Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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