More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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