Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
