You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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