I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
