I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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