You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
