This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
