Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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