i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can you bring me the toilet please
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
