her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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