there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
