so explain again why im purple
no
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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