That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
