Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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