This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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