Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
