last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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