it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
