Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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