actually, I'm a sock model
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
