why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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