I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
