oh god the rape fog is back!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
