A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We need to get me chipped asap
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
