let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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