He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
