That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
