Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
