my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
