your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
