You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So much rum. So many feels.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
