Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
