question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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