soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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