dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
