i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This house was built for laser tag.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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